So, today is my due date, or at least that’s what I’m told. The fact is, my uterus isn’t exactly equipped with a calendar, and even if it was, I’m guessing that Reed can’t read yet (though Adam was reading at 3, so nothing would surprise me with his genius genes in this munchkin). Given the length of my cycles and when we started trying to conceive, I always thought the baby would come on the 10th or 11th, so I’m not exactly holding my breath for something to happen today. But still, it’s definitely a weird feeling to know that I could go into labor at any moment… or that it could be two weeks away. I guess it’s kind of like being in the military — you never know when you’ll be called on a mission and you just have to stay well-rested and well-prepared for it at every moment. Being one who loves schedules, this is not my scene.
Some days, I feel ok with waiting a while for the baby to come. If I’ve slept well and am not in too much discomfort, I figure I could be happy going for another week or so. Last night though, with the baby deciding to use my bladder as a punching bag for 2 hours in the middle of the night (and I can’t even begin to describe how jarring that pain is), I was definitely feeling ready to evict him. But most of the time, I don’t feel desperate to get this baby out of me! like some women do.
Friday was my last day of work. I’d saved up 9 vacation days since I wasn’t sure how I’d be feeling or how prepared we’d be for baby towards the end. While we’re prepared and have Reed’s room just so (at least we think we do!), that last week of work was brutal. I was so uncomfortable and exhausted that I can’t even fathom how I could have done another week (given my theory that my due date is actually this Friday). I know some people take part of their maternity leave a few weeks before the baby is due, and I was definitely torn between wanting to rest before baby and wanting to maximize my time with him. So having those 9 days to pack in before my maternity leave officially begins (April 17) was a good idea. Then, even if the baby is very late, I’ll still have 8 weeks with him before I start going back 2 days/week.
My midwife suggested wine, spicy food, pizza, and sex to spur on labor (along with walking, but it’s been cold and rainy for days now). If that isn’t the best prescription I’ve ever been handed by a medical professional, I don’t know what is! We’re going out for Thai food for lunch, so that will definitely cover the spicy. And I just had my first glass of wine in a very long time (we sprung for a really delicious Acacia pinot noir that we hadn’t had in years and years). I’m just hoping that people don’t treat me like a watched pot, because it will drive me nuts. My colleague was due 9 days before me (and hadn’t given birth as of Friday), and every day, I had people at work asking me if she’d given birth yet. I didn’t want to bug her every day, because I knew how I’d feel if people did that to me. I told the folks at work that Adam would post to this blog when I was in labor so people could just check here to know if the baby was on the way. So no need to wonder — if there’s no news on this blog, then you can assume there’s no news.
People keep asking me if I’m “ready.” I’m not even sure what that means. Do I have diapers and the basic things a baby needs? Yes. Do we have 2 weeks-worth of food in our freezer? Yes. Do I feel ready to have my life change? Yes (it’s not like we have a wild and crazy lifestyle to give up). Do I feel ready? I guess I’m ready as I’ll ever be, but it doesn’t mean that I actually feel ready. Not having much experience (read: any experience) with babies, I know that first month is going to be really hard. I’m lucky that Adam will be home with me and plans to do as little with work as he can during that first month. We’ll also have a post-partum doula come a few times in the first couple of weeks just to provide help and encouragement. I think it’s just fear of the unknown and not knowing how I will deal with everything (with crazy hormonal changes AND a little person completely dependent on me) that makes me feel less than ready. But I know that we’ll get through it and after a month or so it will all become routine. Again, it’s the not knowing that gets me. Were I doing all this without Adam, I’d be a basket case, but together, I know we can do anything.
Off to our Thai lunch in Montpelier. Maybe this will be it! Or not. Stay tuned… 
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